So much disgust

One should not begin a vacation in such a state but Utah is where I live because I am needed.

I did find hope first before I found a reason to be disgusted...in terms of a promise, a thing I could see or else truth would escape revealing the lie.

It is sad really.

I want a thing so much that I start to think I do see it, but the more I see the more I dispise.

"He who controls a thing owns that thing." but controling oneself is about as close as one gets to owning anything.
Here is one plain thought, it is a choice to take but it is the wrong choice, unless given, and then it isn't really taking in this context.

I just feel like a babe in a tantrum trying to scream and wiggle enough to remove all unwanted remnants simply because I do not know anyother way of dealing with them.

But, now I am older, and I quit out of disgust...well, that and I am sick