brain stuff

I started off thinking how instinctual things are and that they are the truly brilliant things about me. Then I remembered what my dad said about needing to practice so much so that you do not need to think about how to do things. I decided that the logistics of music are stored in your brain as a second language. And it is by creating and revisiting numeral pathways that they become natural and do not require a decision anymore, but just become a reflex. Ah hah! That is why I cannot just relearn music and languages like I used to. They are like an old app that cannot run the  new application until the old one is closed, and that was when I invented a story like the one where God discussed things with the Devil about Job. Where things like Running, music, languages, etc. That seemed to be natural to me...all such things were taken, so? I'll just relearn them. Well, trouble is, that I have lived longer trying so hard to relearn them than I lived prior. Makes me think about something that Tal Bachman said long ago about the elasticity of the brain my brain still functions fine enough, I merely lack certain abilities that I naturally had. It was that point at which time I thought of a scripture from the Doctrine & Covenants about intelligence being the thing that remains with us giving us an advantage in our next life. So, I wondered if those natural talents and abilities were intentionally denied me, my illness was rather freakish and target odd parts of my brain and really stumped my neurologists. I survived, but did I thrive, really? Well, we believe that we were created for that purpose, so I naturally decided that My loss was more like blinders placed on horses to make them ignore other paths they might prefer. I have pursued other things and have loved being a mother of exceptional children!!! And I most certainly discovered my passion for fiberarts, and most significant in this life is for certain covenants,  and I made those and now I need to help ancestors who did not have that opportunity. I was sort of pushed towards genealogy as the one thing I could do when I couldn't seem to find anything to do.