journal to rid thoughts in preparation for sleep

I do not want to loose weight! I want to loose fat. Too often, various diet plans and exercise routines are focused on loosing weight. It really irks me.  The same thing happened whenever I want getting dentures, I honestly did not care what I looked like I wanted to be pain free. My pain was so intense! When it was gone I felt so much relief and happiness! And it so happened that cosmetically my appearance was improved, but I swear that was never my goal. It reminds me of that scripture in Jacob 2 that says something like seek ye first the kingdom of God and riches will be given you. I see that playing out in real life with my brother Matthew. So, as I close the day that is on my mind, "I want to loose fat." But you can't lose fat cells or gain them you can merely increase or decrease them in size. All of the experts claimed that if I merely did not eat then I would burn fat for fuel. I honestly did not see that happen so I do not know if anything they said is true. I decided that I needed to consult the manufacturer on what I must do and my prayer was answered that it is a blessing to have a body that can run and not be weary. Fast and not starve, etc. But. How do I lose fat? I become a distance runner. I really am afraid of doing that, but that was my answer and that I would never feel w3content until I do that.plus, it was what I was born to do. I think I actually decided that in the pre existence,  and that is what ailed understood and was okay with before I got hospitalized, and reforgotor just dropped that worry thinking we'll, I couldn't run anyway. But, like upon line, now I realize that we are purposely given obstacles to overcome yo make us strong enough to accomplish what we need to, like a bird needing to hatch out of it's shell without help. I had been thinking, too that Nick would probably be a great runner, too

 Though, he wouldn't want to do that, I really think he would be an amazing athlete.