My pleading results

Above all I want to be making a change that leads me towards eternal success and right Now I am Trying to figure out what that would even be.

So, after years of life and I am still alive on this earth I decided that things were and had been wrong. Now, I have felt exonerated from most failures because of my mental state/condition. But, that was over 10 years ago. Time to own up and repent again and ultimately change, but how? I needed help and so my prayer was "Please, Heavenly Father, I need to talk." Now, I realize He is busy and He already knows my issues. Still the act of trying to communicate is for my sake. I feel like princess Leigha on Star Wars "Obi wan you are my only hope."

My answer was "No success can compensate for failure in the home." Home ought to be my real focus. Though I do not understand eternal life. I know that the only way to be certain I am progressing is to unleash and live as a family unit....ha ha ha independence is futile. But, seriously, I think that all growth and ambition outside of a life as a wife and mother, no matter how well-meaning is not leading me in the right direction.
I think of when I served in YW. I got theundeniable communication that nothing Idid or say would matter if I did not live such principles myself.it is like teaching violin. Sure I could explain it perfectly, but should not teach unless I have mastered it, and I cannot actually play the violin although I understand the theory of it.

I love people. I will be given and easily find a way to help them, but as I also stumbled on in the BoM last night, first I need to work on my family. Specifically, it was a great thanks that was expressed by the Lamanites for the love and service of those who despite being hate and even murdered came and taught them the truth.

I know now where my focus ought to be. Sincerely, I was still focused on my family, but in thinking the way an EarthLink does...make enough money and you can accomplish anything. So, with enough money you can start over....WRONG! Hadn't I already started over and fixed things according to what was important to me then, but ideas change.

It doesn't even matter who is at fault(that is a rather worldly way to think of things, no?) Things have decayed for years and need some readjustment.

No other success is truly successful and I know that. If I can swallow my pride and endure. "The cause" of my family ought to be paramount.

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In college I jotted a little paper about how if women wore only skirts it would fix society. Though, who cares about fixing society? I love my notion that to fix a thing we often need to find our solution in a seemingly unrelated place. My premise was that if women focused on being women regardless if they could out perform men, the world would improve. Although I could make more money my purpose is to make a home and support a husband who in turn can focus on providing!