Ah hah!

As I learn to recognize my bodily cues instead of suppress them. I realize the ideal is exactly what I would naturally want. All along I believed thatmy natural inclinations were bad and to be ignored. But, I naturally want to exercise and eat. And I already gave dieting and fasting a shot, and supposed that "doing nothing" was they key, and so I fought so hard against my inclination towards being active. And I always found that eating made me do it, or vice versa really.  I wanted to run for instance, but found that if I do, I always start eating more, so fasting and exercise was not a good match. But, then my husband said, "well, if you run and get hungry and do not eat, then you will lose weight." Tried that. If for all the stress and anguish over wanting to eat cause weight loss, I would be very skinny by now. But, I'm not.

I hypothesize that it is an either or thing. Diet works for some, not me. I have tried everything. Now, I will try  eatting alot and exercising.

thinking about my daughter's favorite subject

She always takes History.

What about mine?

file this in that top drawer

Isolation is strongly linked with cognitive decline. Old age is also strongly linked with cognitive decline. I can only do anything about one of them.

daily thought

One idea lead to another and I ended up learning about Yoik singing and now and going to see how it relates to some Irish traditional singing I love. I think the "people of the sun" on Frozen 2 are modeled after the Sami and when they start forming a circle and singing, It is the most powerful thing I had ever felt/heard.

https://youtu.be/MaW0i8XY77w?feature=shared

I think it is a Joik or a very good recreation of one.

Really, it makes me pause and think once again about how important a simple melody is in any musical piece.

daily thought

There will always be someone better than you and always be someone worse than  you if you look for them. It is better to strive to be one the best you. It is so hard for me to even know who I was, am or ought to be, but I heard a discussion where someone explained success as being the ability to push through hard things, not avoid them. I think it is easier for most of us to compare ourselves to those we see instead of with what we must work hard to even comprehend.

just seems...

It just seems to me that people knew about things before they were "discovered" and given a name. Things like Gravity, evolution and such. Like how languages evolve. It is a ture principle, but it falls apart when you try to use it to explain humankind.

morning thought

Fasting is not trust worthy. It is ultimately another fad. One scientifically sound, but, as in finding truth, it is better not to seek in with scientists. Not saying science is false or won't even be eventually the same as is revealed by God, but when it comes to my health. Ultimately, I need to focus on gut feelings. Since Childhood I have had this metaphor in my head of a great fire that must be maintained. If it dwindles adding logs will not help it burn, and though they may burn stronger, brighter, hotter and longer, kindling and kinder are needed. I fasted and fasted and never saw any of the mentioned benefits, not to say that they are not there, but fat is like a log, and I need to stoke the fire (metabolism) before it works. Many get impatient and just add starter fluid, but that is nothing I have nor care to use. Also, so you burn off all of the fat, ok. You still need to start a burn to keep burning. I like how I feel on food. If anything, I have found success in regular exercise and nutrition. 

Here, I will get a bit "Mormony". There was a talk by Jeffery R. Holland about sometimes taking the wrong road to be certain of the right road. 

https://youtu.be/yNQC-_srxH8?si=d1abYHUfjNoEzqyw

I spent a lot of time invested in fasting only to know surely (not giving in to emperor's new clothes thing) that I happened to get in great shape at the time I was trying out IF. It may be just what is needed for some people, but after 4 days of fasting I realized none of the things I ought to have experienced happened, so by extrapolation I figure none of it's truths are actually truths. Now,  it could be that my body type just takes a bit longer, but I was soooooo tired, not hungry,  mind you, that even if it did work, so what.... whereas, when I exercised after each meal I lost weight and felt stronger to the point that I wondered if I was super human or something.  My conclusion is that I must have a runner's body. Several people in my family have made comments as well about how I had real potetial as a world class athlete and it was sad that I was hospitalized, but my thought is that maybe it was like those blinders the put on horses to help them not get distracted, and I was using my talents to choose other pursuits, also, it is like Beethoven, how having a set back only makes a drive to succeed all the stronger, and true talent blossoms under stress.

Bottom line, is that 60% is not a strong enough statistic or probably of a desired result to base a choice on whereas how I actually feel is.