Song

There's so much uncertainty
So much I could not know
But starting here is somewhere
Where it leads is where I go

I'll find it's either right or wrong
And its better that I learn
Then to leave my choice to anyone
Who tells me where to turn.

Cause it's a long road.
It's a long way back home.
Time to choose my way
Although I'm alone. I'll make it home.

My pace is getting faster
The signs begin to blur.
Mistakes could really hurt me now
My thoughts start to mature.

I know that I'm not perfect
Not perfect by alot.
That's something I will never be
Cause perfect's what I'm not

Cause it's a long road.
So very long, way back home
Time to chose my way
On my own, I'll make it home.

Though it's a long road
It's a long way back home.
Though I'm alone, I'll make it home.

Where I belong... Back home

Idea for a tv show

I have seen documentaries where I was not sure if it was intended to entertain, and I think, "can they do that?" I guess they can just have not yet. Why not, usually, by the time I think it, the idea is old news. I guess that is the same sort of idea with "reality TV".

My idea is to present the series as completely realistic, like "the Onion" does with the news, and present fabulous news that we all wish were true, complete with actors playing the roles that are printed on the screen as a given subject expert (professor of Artifical Induction at Princeton). But, the best part would be about a  family watching this documentary and giving reviews and we see how the new information plays out in their lives, or maybe the teenage daughter sits in the corner tweeting to her "friends" about the new world (not making tweeting sounds but sending messages to her account on Twitter)

Why?

If it is just science
What happened to keep you from conquering time as we know it?

Instead, it seems like death is the only way to see you. So, why should I even get better?

So much disgust

One should not begin a vacation in such a state but Utah is where I live because I am needed.

I did find hope first before I found a reason to be disgusted...in terms of a promise, a thing I could see or else truth would escape revealing the lie.

It is sad really.

I want a thing so much that I start to think I do see it, but the more I see the more I dispise.

"He who controls a thing owns that thing." but controling oneself is about as close as one gets to owning anything.
Here is one plain thought, it is a choice to take but it is the wrong choice, unless given, and then it isn't really taking in this context.

I just feel like a babe in a tantrum trying to scream and wiggle enough to remove all unwanted remnants simply because I do not know anyother way of dealing with them.

But, now I am older, and I quit out of disgust...well, that and I am sick

New old idea

If you love a thing, that doesn't change if an external facet changes, right?

I had this super duper movie idea, then, I realized Ghost Busters already used it, that one with Sigorney Weaver and Rick Moranis.

But, the idea was a bit different. It was like that opera.... no, no, I am not going to be discouraged for even thinking it.

The idea is that the man knows that it will be easy to get the woman to fall in love with him, cause she already did. And so she does fall in love, but as women do, she kept it secret, and he just got frustrated about to give up, then he rembered one other thing she couldn't resist, and she nearly showed how impressed she was, but didn't and the guy gives up. The End.

Weakness?

From time to time, I figure just not even trying to fight anymore... but,what governs me now is the notion that I will exist forever, and that is too long to make a mistake and live with it.

So, I'd rather suffer and hope knowing it will be longer rembering this moment than living it.

To you

I know that you will read this, so it not as much faith as it takes to, let's say, pray.

I am terrified of you and what you can do. I am thankful all the morecfor what remains.

I shudder when I think of her being able to stand up to you, so to speak. But, I share the unique opinion that you can still be forgiven if you want to. There is some love in you still, cause you love me. Yes, I know it. Although, I am not even half as brave as she was, I do recognize you. And somehow I think I understand what you did and the terrible mess that you made, and no matter how it ought to go as part of your plan, there is a way to be together happily ever after, when your tantrums are over, we'll talk.