True stories

Quite often great story tellers publicly recognize that true stories are much better than the mythical universes created by their mind, that makes a lot of sense actually, but I started to think about how hard it would be to live a story worthy life. Personally, the reason I prefer true stories is that I can trust the ending which I already professed that the good guy always wins, but just maybe the story we want to tell hasn't ended yet, they all end positively.

But, back to the speculative part. I was noticing how most of my favorite true stories are both positive and full of very difficult trials. It occurred to me that I might be living as are we all, one of the best stories ever and so I want to start telling my story, which will be true except for the fictional ending, not to say the actual ending will not be as uplifting, but I hope to finish the story before my life.

Time to write a book

I need to write about my Christmas so that others can know and feel the joy.

Happiness of Christmas is not something we trade our money for. It seems that the things that make us happy come from money, but that is because we have seen things mainly from a man's perspective, and they trade their work for money, so in a sense they use their money to purchase happiness.

Around Christmas 2013, just now published...

Kids always nag their parents for things and it so happens that my daughter always asks for the most expensive things, I want to write a poem that uses imagery to compare her requests to me to my request to God, only difference is that he has the power to grant it, and I do not give a deadline. Still the main focus needs to be the most precious and expensive things are wanted and I am no different than her in what I want. At least I am able to admit that I want it now.I see no reason why it will not be mine, someday. unles I need to set a deadline incase I ought to move on. I do not want to become a waiter (one who waits) or put my eggs in one basket. I did that before, and counted on one things entirely, but it was not the best thing, nor the thing that would help me reach my potential.

Partial children's story

A pitiful flower has bloomed and sees it's likeness in a neat little pot without thinking it rushes to join. It abandons the rocky terrain where it was a lonely flower among piles of rock. At first it is so happy to be with other flowers that it fails to notice the climate or soil, but upon so doing is so extremely happy and thrives and as it grows it realizes that it was far less than it's potential and realizes that given a chance to bloom in such conditions things would have been so different. The flower actually has only basic similarities with the much weaker blooms and it longs stupidly to go back to its. Accustomed environment.

Thoughts that belong together

"Where are you going?", he asked fully expecting a foolish answer.
"Just looking for the lost socks. It just struck me that in the law of conservation of Socks they cannot disappear so replacing them is silly. I decided to not put of their discovery one more minute. Who knows what else I may find..."

"They say the last place you look is where you'll find things."

"Well, duh. Why on earth would you keep looking after a thing has been found?

"Maybe you will find your (trails off)..." And he already regrets allowing the thought to cross his mind let alone his lips.

"What?"

"Darling, you know that I love you. I just want you to be happy again."

"And I suppose that wish would be met by realizing all of the wonderful things you do because you consider me oblivious to them."

"Please, don't get so huffy

Ok, here goes!

I wanted to write in permanent ink so that the words will not ever fade away.
Like a permanent eye liner that won't run when tears flow from expressing how I feel.
Maybe, I always loved you, and even if I am just one, I was always yours and it will likely be the same as is every other world.
Many things change, but this time I took a greater wager that we would end up working on that same project that we always have.
It won't be haloween forever, and the masks will come off to reveal who we really were.
It is no wonder I never had a thought that did not include you.
Different mothers same dad ofcourse we are family, adopted or not it does not matter. Even Leia loved Luke, and it sure makes a great story for a reason.

Movie idea

What if the Lord prayed to his father in Gathsemene and was rescued from having to suffer for the sins of the world?

Moral: though, to us our trials seem terrible and we pray for relief, maybe that is not the best thing to do cause our father wants to help us, and it hurts him to hear our complaints when those trials are the only way for us to fufill our duty.

Song October 2013

If I wrote the perfect lyrics and sang them to the most enchanting melody, still it could not capture that inner part of me that lives in a cage wanting to find the way somehow to communicate the thoughts would set me free.

I've loved you for so long,
I've loved you all along
So, the time has come at last to set my words to song
To tell you how I'm feeling
To somehow let you know that I cannot let you go, no matter what I try.

a journaled adventure of no particular canon

I just had a brilliant idea, I am going to write a journal of the significance of each chapter in the book of Mormon. I also intend to earn 5 dollars some how, and though it will take a long time I will eventually have two treasures. I am impressed that maybe I could get it published or orginally, I was just thinking that it would be a good record for me to refer to personally, and the money could be used to start a new wardrobe.

I intend to throw out all of my clothing and start over with only options that say the right things and help me become the woman I want to be. I very much like to think that it would all be something my diligence and devotion to studying the scriptures caused.

Another thing I thought of this morning was how they say that children are naturally spiritual, but I disagree. I for one was thrilled that my parents decided to not longer go to church. though that was not associated in my mind with not loving and worshiping God. to the point where as a young adult I decided that I no longer needed to attend church to learn or practice the gospel.

But, finally, when I first moved out here, I stopped attending, too because it seemed unnecessary and my example was that if things conflicted with what you wanted then do not do them. It was then that I realized that I actually wanted the benefits of attending church and "force" (oooh, I hate that word) my own kids to go faithfully. I hope they never for a moment think that spirituality originates with them. It is true they are the soil or garden, but they must have the seed planted and nurtured.

This is what you're looking for

Maybe I will give it a,new title of Pandora's Box, for if you read it, you'll wish you hadn't.

It is a story of a girl who decides to go against wisdom and listen to her aged heart. It leads her to and from many circumstances that seem fateful but she fails to see the orchestration of her own heart until she learns to follow it disregarding conventionalism for a time.

Agree to follow everything your heart chooses and see how you feel. You ought to feel liberated. The truly best choice is debatable, unless you decide to obey only one voice.

It seems crazy that it might be a real honest to goodness threat that others might not believe in Christ, in our day. It seems unbelievable. How could anyone not believe in his way? There could be no other substitute.

Like riding a bike

Supposedly, there are things that are ingrained,in your being though inactive for a long while. They have even earned a word of Dormant because they have been frequently observed.

In basketball, I was taught something called "muscle recall". That if you practiced enough free throws it would happen everytime because your muscles would learn a response, like riding a bike. Whenever I stepped up to the line, in this case, and followed the same routine my body would recognize it's position and duty and would naturally make the basket every attempt. This worked in convincing me to redundantly practice a routine, but I wondered why more people did not do this and why with all of the financial and popular reward offered one who devoted them self to such practice, why would anyone still miss.

I was being lazy and so I,let,my son play with my laptop to keep him from fighting with his sister. I always eavesdrop though to make sure he doesn't accidentally stumble on thing which he ought not. It is my obligation to protect his mind. So I over hear a lot of things. But, among those things was a contest for songwriting. And my interest was piqued.

Maybe this was my chance to use a dormant skill to better the world. It was something I would have totally done in my earlier days, but a little voice whispered, "It's like riding a bike. Just do it." So, I am writing a,New song. I seriously doubt that I will enter, but it got me doing something I love again.

Even with no other reward, this is something I will always come back to. I have very little ability remaining, but I will gladly practice and use it. There is a line in the movie "Anonymous" where Edward.Davere is asked why he persists in writing plays and poetry. I think my purpose for writing songs is the same, "it is my soul."

A bit about,me. I could not eat or walk at one point, it seemed the wisest decision would,have been to just,cease, but I persisted and clung to what I could do until I could do more. And though it required a miracle, by most standards, I now can walk and I obviously have not been harmed at all in my ability to consume.

Currently, I have new teeth and my gums are healing from surgery, so I am not able to eat much, but literally, I see how to apply the teaching again of, "line upon,line". Baby step by baby step I will be able to return to what I was before.

My new story

About a girl who falls in love with a random guy that she stumbled on  seeing at Walmart. It will explore how silly or is it to base happiness on a passing sight. I mean, how many people do we happen to see in a day? It could happen any time any day, especially if you happen to look at all in Walmart. There are a lot of people at Walmart at any given time.

It reminds me of a video for "I knew I loved you before I,met you" by Savage Garden.

Honing my craft

This will make no sense to me,when I forget why I wrote it.

Sci-fi idea

His parents are really his creators  incognito as just typical patents, but he constantly senses something more, but doesn't know what just too much coincidence, think fairly odd parents. One episode deals with wanting to just make the child do something, but they have to decide it is more important to give a choice.

Another open-ended letter....,

Hey,

I had a question that has,been taking on various forms in my mind. No matter what is said my question is the same. These words sum it up. Is your regret for what you lost greater than the freedom and peace that was gained? It is not too late for me that I might benefit from your experience.

My strongest feeling is that it is better to be alone and hopeful, than together and alone. But, I sort of can imagine a future me referring to being so cavalier about tossing aside something so significant as stupid, no, ignorant. So, I wouldn't want to fail to understand what I was doing and you seem to have spot on instincts, when it comes to things supposedly unknown.

I love you so entirely that I might be so bold as to suggest that being together might make us happy here, but it is almost necessary in the next life. Though I lack your ability to forsee that. Everything I do see or know suggests that we will never be at peace unless we are together. Woah, sorry, I didn't mean to get so lovey dovey it just happens when I think about us.

Somewhere in Time

This whole blog was inspired,by an obsession with Beethoven, but this post/letter in particular was inspired by a scene that keeps replaying in my mind. I loved it so much that as a child I wrote it down entirely thinking that I would,memorize it. I am referring to the "Is it you?" Speech which was adlib supposedly for the stage, but obviously had been composed in her heart for a long time with the propect of finding that one that she had been warned about. It is from that movie that I decided that Jane Seymour must be one of the most beautiful women alive. According to the movie that enchanting photo was taken while she was actually smiling at her love, who goes back in time, making the impossible distance of time a penetrable barrier and their final reuniting so much more fulfilling. I have been too influenced,by others dreams as seen on the "Silver Screen". Without further ado...here is what I would say to you.

I do not know why you stayed away so long, Was it part of some elaborate purpose that You are waiting for me to understand? My biggest fear is that,like learning to use the brain for other things, your procrastination has caused,my once fertile brain to assume other tasks which I fear like relearning to walk the limp becomes pronounced and part of my gait, I needed to love and in your absence I did, and I fear that emotional limp will never go away.
I love you. You. And want sooner than later to be together. This probably sounds foolish, but everything you do requires me. Except for breathing. Do not die, but if you do, death is no match for me. Eventually, I will cross over, too so, do not prolong a reunion. We were always together before and as we were tossed into this,being. Never doubt that I will find you. I only am waiting now to be found, surely You can recognize me.

Really, there are so many things that appear significant and deserving of attention, but really, none compare to the importance of being together.

It is an undeniable truth that we should be together. Do not fight it. I always was the independent one, not you, so comeon already. Let's realize what really matters and just "blow this joint."

Ok, admittedly, I am just passing through here, I see you and something forcably turns,my gaze. I see you but, still know where I am headed, I just want to take you with me. So yeah, if you are waiting for me to need you. I won't. But, here I am I have found you, and though I do believe that I will need you living without you for so long has caused me to think differently, like I don't need you. Please, change my mind. I have nothing more to say but this:I have always loved you.am

Sitting at my desk this morning

"Furthermore, in speaking of its effects, the Apostle [Paul] says: “The spirit is given to every man to profit withal. To one is given faith.” [See 1 Corinthians 12:7, 9.] Not a common, ordinary faith, which some people pretend to at the present day; but a faith which enabled its possessors to be sawn asunder, to be cast into dens of lions, fiery furnaces, and to undergo tortures of every description. This was the kind of faith that the Holy Ghost conferred upon those who possessed it, enabling its possessor to stand in the midst of every difficulty, defy every opposition and lay down his life, if necessary, for the cause that he had espoused."-from the Teachings of Lorenzo Snow Chp.4

To whom it may concern,

Though, I would never challenge you regarding difficulties, or dare to do so to anyone, suffice it, mine have been particularly rough. But, I am in a sense glad for them. Do not mistake me for a masochist though. But, like everyone else, I delight in having the opportunity to overcome. I even slapped the label of problem solver on my living resume. It is really through such distance and resistance that my mind firms in it's resolve.

I actually feel closer to you right now because of impossibility. Let me expound, I turned to things that, remind me of how it would feel to be with you because everything around me is so seemingly terrible. I have at my lowest point decided that the only way to endure anything is with love, and that means doting on you in any way I can.

Where do lonely socks go?

This is a short story about where missing socks go. The story is told by a lonely sock.

     Once upon a time, there were two socks which were created in pairs, like all Socks. It can safely be said that they were made for one another. In the sock factory where all of the machine created socks are placed together to be sold. This pair was placed in a bag with other couples and shipped to America. While in this bag, they heard stories of speculated futures. Majority of socks believed that it was desirable to be useful, which included being worn on rugged feet and forced to endure terrible sounding things, but of al lof the things that they heard no one even mentioned the cruel fate they might endure and both were afraid of. What if they were lost and paired with a similar sock but not eachother!! This seemed almost too cruel a fate to talk about. It did seem likely though. Nothing really distinguished them from the other pairs in the bag.

     Finally, they were purchased and the package was opened and they were finaly donned. Each night as they were removed they got to spend time in the "clothes hamper" together and they would discuss the day from their perspective.

     Then one fateful morning as they were being carried to the washing machine one was dropped! Panic struck. But, ultimately both socks knew this could happen, and they both haddecided to endure their consecuences well, for what could they do anyway?

     Later that day Suzy was washing her new green trousers and saw a missing sock laying on the laundry room floor, so she picked up the sock and put it in her small load.

A cool story that I want to write

What is done is not seen, but what I don't do is seen and noted. This idea is very cool and would be appreciated by stay-at-home mothers.

I just thought of another one. All of these things are happening and I am wrongfully accused, and so I thought it would make an awesome prank and story to mess with someone's computer and change settings with huge and funny consequences, none of which the offended who seems the offender can really be held accountable. My mind drew parallels with multiple personality disorder, and how it is nearly impossible to discern of solve.

My struggle today

I am frustrated with language to describe a person. That greatly changes depending on who you ask or even when you ask.

What part remains constant and definable?

I struggle with words like good, loving, or nice. Or what about dependable?

Grrrr! Not worth the effort. I'll go back to music or is that like going back to crochet because knitting seems,more difficult.

You might cry

You might cry at funerals,
At weddings or the such...
You might cry when a child leaves for school
Or for starving if you're Dutch
...

But, of all of these deaths
Something lives a new.
Of all of these deaths
Only one is sad enough to make me cry.

...

Loosing love won't kill you dead
But, even death brings life.
One wrong choice can break a heart
...